Young and in love on one of our first dates

 

When Eric and I started dating, I think many people wondered that if we were to stay together how I would do dating, maybe even marrying, a farmer. Johnson Countians just didn’t seem to understand. Most had, and still do, have a narrow mind about farming, especially farming the way that Eric’s family does it. But like many people who have visited the Eberspacher’s farm, you fall in love with it, and the people who are there, the moment you step foot on their land. After just two months of dating, it was a done deal for both of us. We knew that we were meant to be together forever.

After Eric proposed to me out in a beautiful field on the farm, lots of decisions had to be made for our life after we said, “I do.” Where would we live? What would our jobs look like? When would it be a good time to move back to farm? Children? Finances? The list goes on and on. Eric is super patient and methodical, which is great because when big decisions and emotions get in the mix, my head can start to whirl. I was currently working my dream job at a Hem/Onc clinic here in Olathe, and Eric knew that I wasn’t ready to leave that part of my life yet. He could have easily walked over my heart’s desires, picked us up and dragged me away from my family and a job that I loved so much…but he didn’t. He could have stomped his foot and disregarded the fact that I REALLY wanted to give birth to one of our babies here to be around my mom (doesn’t every girl just want her mom when she has a newborn?)…but he didn’t. He sacrificed years of doing what he desired to do so that I could live out a part of my life that was so important to me – a part of my life that I could never get back. I respect him more for allowing that part of my life to happen more than he will ever know. So the “5-7 years after we got married” time frame of moving to Milford came about. Those years FLEW by. A cute little starter house, 4 more years at my job, lots of tree climbing at Ryan Lawn and Tree, little Eleanor Sue…. And so here we are today.

I have struggled many a night with our decision to move. Farming, from what I have tried to learn and understand from the outside, is a very different lifestyle. Most everything about it is different than what we know her in Olathe. There will be a big learning curve for me, but I am ready and willing to take on that challenge. Most people look at me, dressed in animal print, sipping on my spiced pumpkin lattes in the fall and getting high off of decorating my house with the changing seasons and think (and have actually verbalized to me), “You poor girl. Your going to die out there.” To that, I say this….

Back in December of 2011, we were at the farm to celebrate Christmas a few days late with Eric’s family. We were in our second month of trying to have a baby, and what do you know, I was ovulating right when we were at my in-laws (always a good time). For those of you who are trying to get pregnant, whether it be the first or tenth time, it’s very emotional. And I’m emotional enough already as it is (those who know me are nodding there head in agreement as you read this). I was struggling with having faith that God would allow us to start a family, struggling with the knowledge that we would eventually be moving to this place and struggling with knowing whether or not I would fit in, thrive and be the same person once we moved here.

I was out on a walk trying to clear my head, crying out to God and begging Him to give me some sort of hope that He was going to make a way for me. I am not normally one to “ask God to give me a sign” but in that moment, my heart was feeling desperate.

 

 

As I was walking and praying out loud to my God, a huge gust of wind almost knocked me over and in that moment I felt as if it was God telling me to turn around. As I turned, the most beautiful double rainbow was painted in the sky over the farmstead. It was one of the most breathtaking things I had ever seen. Just like when God sent the rainbow after the great flood giving a promise that He would never destroy the earth again, I felt that promise speak straight into my heart. “I will not destroy you.”

In that moment, I honestly felt like God painted those rainbows in the sky just for me. In that moment, I took that promise and clung to it for dear life. In that moment, I knew, with out a shadow of a doubt, that this was exactly where God was preparing for us to be. And in that moment, I knew that I was pregnant. And 10 days later, on Eric’s birthday, we found out we were going to have a baby. Never has there been more excitement, laughter, joy, crying and jumping up and down in one bathroom than there was that January morning.

After my walk that day, I have continued to cling to that promise. I have etched it on the deepest part of my heart and it is what has gotten me through the moments that are filled with fear. It has given me such a peace, that I can hardly put into words the way it has calmed my soul when doubt starts to creep in. Yes, things are going to change for our little family in a big way. I am going to miss my family and friends more than I can express. Change, even good change, is scary. But according to the Word of God, there are things that are not going to change because we move.

 

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Change can not steal my joy.

 

Psalm 85:8

I will listen to what God the Lord will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints– but let them not return to folly.

Change can not steal the peace that God grants me.

 

Psalm 27:1

The Lord is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?

Change does have the power to control me with fear.

 

1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Change does not negate how I love others.

 

Joshua 24:15

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Change does not determine Who I serve.

 

So with great excitement, we move forward. Some plans are still unknown, but I am choosing to place those unknowns into the hands of the One Who knows it all. I am so thankful for His promises. I hope that this can encourage you to cling to them, too.